Review: Lord James and His Bride (The Duke's Brothers #1) by Fiona Miers
Abigail is the middle daughter of five. Her mother has already married off 4 daughters, finances are low and she is now ailing in health. They have moved from a large house in Bath to a smaller sea-front townhouse in Weymouth for the sea bathing which her doctor recommended.
When a chance encounter has James and Abigail meeting, the rake is delighted to have a new lady to pursue and plots to have her invited to a soiree at the Duke's Estate. He soon finds out she has been scorned by society thanks to a jilted engagement, and thinks that makes her mistress material.
Abigail believes James is genuinely courting her, but becomes wary when she hears the gossip about his rakish ways. Her fears become reality when James makes a mistress proposal to Abigail. Understandably, the gently born lady is outraged.
When James realises that Abigail is the one for him, how will he make the lady forgive him for everything he's done?
Lord have mercy. There was so much wrong with this novel that I barely know where to begin. To start with, I don't think I've ever read a Regency romance that completely disregarded Regency-era behavior, etiquette, and even basic terminology quite like this one. And unfortunately, the very first scene gave me a pretty good indication of what I was in for.
Our hero and heroine first meet on the beach after a wave sends Abigail's mother crashing into the ocean. In her bathing chair. You know, those things that were used in Bath to transport the elderly and infirm around and were most definitely not designed to be taken into the water? At first, I assumed perhaps the author meant a wheelchair, but considering Mrs. Roth spends the rest of the book walking around perfectly fine, that clearly wasn't the case. And then we're told that Abigail and her mother's maid were helping Mrs. Roth because there was "no attendant" in sight. Okay...so how exactly did the bathing machine they were all apparently inside manage to make it from the beach into the ocean in the first place?
And somehow, that's not even the biggest problem with this scene.
No, that honor goes to the fact that when Abigail's mother is swept into the water, Abigail starts screaming and desperately tries to keep her mother's head above the waves. James rushes to their rescue from his secluded section of the beach where he had been swimming completely naked. And apparently...nobody cares. Not only does no one seem particularly concerned that there's a completely naked man standing on a public beach, Abigail is somehow allowed to have a full-on, semi-private conversation with him while they're both in plain view of everyone else. Yeah...I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have gone over quite as casually as this book would have you believe.
But of course, this is also the moment when James and Abigail become infatuated with one another. Because naturally. James is a war veteran suffering from war flashbacks and other very obvious symptoms of PTSD, while Abigail is a woman who was hurt in the past and has sworn off love in favor of becoming a spinster so she can care for her ailing mother. You know, the usual suspects in these types of novels.
A few days later, Abigail attends a soiree at James's brother's estate, and as soon as she's introduced to the Duke, he tells her there's no need to use his title and that she can simply call him by his Christian name. Again... that's not how Regency society worked. And while we're on the subject, unmarried women also didn't exactly invite eligible bachelors into their homes for "a nightcap" as though they were inviting a neighbor over for coffee.
The next time James and Abigail are thrown together, they're once again at the Duke's estate, where, because this is apparently completely normal in this version of Regency England, the Duchess of Melton encourages the two of them to take a rowboat out to a folly on an island alone. Sure. Because that's exactly what a respectable duchess would have done.
Of course, they get caught in a sudden downpour, which leads to them shedding their clothes and going at it like cats in heat right there on the floor. When they finally return to the main house, both apparently realizing what a terrible idea this was, James immediately sends Abigail off with his sister-in-law, who lends her a gown before she rejoins the gathering.
Naturally, everyone notices. They have been gone for quite some time, she's wearing an entirely different dress, and James won't even look at her. There are whispers and suspicious glances. But scandal? Consequences? A demand that they marry? Nope. Just some gossip and dirty looks. Because apparently the Regency aristocracy in this book operates under the same social rules as a modern-day neighborhood barbecue.
And somehow, things only manage to get worse from there.
James and Abigail are both among the most stubborn and unbelievably stupid characters I've had the misfortune of reading about. James supposedly has this uncanny ability to read people, in fact, he even calls his own brother stupid for something he says to his wife early in the book, yet somehow he is completely incapable of realizing that Abigail has feelings for him. Abigail meanwhile, knows all about James' rakish reputation and willingly gets herself involved with him, only to be absolutely shocked when he later offers to make her his mistress for the rest of the summer. Girl. What exactly did you think was going to happen?
Eventually, James comes to his senses and goes to Abigail to beg for her forgiveness and offer to court her properly. And she tells him no. Why? Because he didn't tell her he was in love with her. Well, boo-hoo, child. Maybe you should have waited to hear those three little words before letting the man lay you down on the dusty old rug in the folly, but what do I know?
Of course, they're both miserable after this, so James retreats to his private beach to once again swim in the nude. And wouldn't you know it, he once again hears screams coming from the main beach and rushes to the rescue. This time, it's a small boy. James carries the child back to shore, and once again, absolutely no one seems particularly concerned about the naked man standing among them. At least this time, someone has enough sense to bring him a blanket to cover himself.
And then he notices Abigail standing on the beach watching the whole thing unfold, and she proceeds to walk out into the ocean in her dress to talk to him, they kiss in front of everyone, and apparently nobody cares about that either. In fact, her mother is downright pleased when she joins them and discovers that James and Abigail intend to marry. At some point I guess, because that's where the book ends.
Needless to say, this was not a positive first impression of the series. Between the bizarre bathing-chair situation, a naked hero who apparently causes absolutely no scandal, wildly inappropriate behavior, characters who seem incapable of communicating like functioning adults, and a romance built almost entirely on misunderstandings and stubbornness, this one was simply not for me.
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