Review: Long Time Dead (Detective Sheridan Holler #1) by T.M. Payne

                                                                    

Print Length: 393 pages

Publisher: Thomas & Mercer (April 1, 2024)

From Goodreads.com:  DI Sheridan Holler is used to solving crimes on Liverpool’s streets, but after a decayed corpse turns up in a cemetery, she finds herself reopening not one but two cold cases. Seven years earlier, two women were gunned down and the only suspect, small-time drug dealer John Lively, was never seen again. Case closed. Until the body in the cemetery is identified as his.

Holler needs to work out if Lively was killed out of revenge, or was just a victim of the criminal world he inhabited. When shocking evidence is revealed about the murder weapon, Holler’s cold case starts to look hopeless once more.

But defeat is not an option. Driven by the unsolved and traumatic murder of her brother when they were children, DI Holler’s pursuit of justice is relentless. As old wounds are reopened, the police close in on the killer, but the threat of them striking again is all too real. Can DI Holler put the pieces of the puzzle together before anyone else winds up dead?

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My Rating: 2 stars out of 5

Before I get into my review, don't let the fact that this book has 117 chapters (plus an epilogue) scare you away. The chapters are incredibly short, so despite the plot dragging in places, the book still moves along at a decent pace. 

Now with that out of the way, let's dive in.

Full disclosure: I was actually introduced to this cast of characters when I received an ARC (or Advanced Reader Copy) of the FIFTH book in the series. In that review, one of my biggest complaints was that none of the characters were described in enough detail to make them memorable. At the time, I gave the author the benefit of the doubt. I figured maybe, by book five, it was presumed that readers already knew what everyone looked like. 

However, as this is the FIRST book, I can confirm that no, there is no detailed description of how ANY of these characters look. . When we first meet a member of her team, this is what is said; "Dipesh Mois was a diligent detective, always impeccably dressed, and with manners to suit. He held Sheridan in the highest esteem and was well liked by his colleagues." Okay that’s great, but what does he look like? Later on, we’re introduced to a character named Sam and Sheridan’s first impression of her is about how she was “completely captivated by Sam’s features, her flawless skin, those eyes, the tempting shape of her mouth.” Hell, even Maud the cat is described merely as having a “miserable face.” That tells the reader nothing. No eye color or hair style for any of the human characters, not even what breed of cat Maud is. It made it very hard at times to keep certain characters straight because they all tended to blend together after awhile.

I also couldn't help wondering what issue this author has with lesbians. Sheridan and Sam move into the physical side of their relationship fairly quickly, which, fine, happens. But then both Sam's roommate AND Sheridan's coworker, two people who don't even know each other, respond with the exact same comment: "You lesbians don't waste time, do you?"

That struck me as incredibly odd. First, what are the chances that two completely unrelated characters would make the exact same remark? Second... why does it matter that they're lesbians? Plenty of heterosexual couples move just as quickly, especially when one or both of them are dealing with highly stressful situations. The repeated comment felt unnecessary and strangely out of place.

Now, let's talk about the real star of the book: Maud the cat. She steals every scene she's in. Unfortunately, I couldn't ignore some of the details surrounding her. The author repeatedly mentions that Maud loves Jaffa Cakes, claiming she somehow eats them without touching the chocolate coating, and it's also mentioned that she may have terrible breath because she's been licking garlic bread. However, both chocolate and garlic are toxic to cats, so it felt like an odd choice to reference two foods (repeatedly in the case of the Jaffa Cakes) that are potentially dangerous for them.

As for the mystery itself... once again it managed to be both unbelievable and painfully obvious.

The unbelievable part comes from Sheridan's almost supernatural instincts. She'll meet someone for mere moments and immediately "know" they're guilty (or at least hiding something), with absolutely nothing to support that feeling. Even when the investigation starts pointing elsewhere, she refuses to let go of her original suspicion. There were also moments where Sheridan says the team needs something to happen (example they need a lead, something to “sink their teeth into), and then BOOM, almost immediately after she utters those words, a lead is miraculously found? Sure, those things probably happen from time to time in real life, but I had trouble believing they happen as often as they did in this book.

The obvious part is harder to discuss without wandering into spoiler territory. I'll just say that when someone who struggles to communicate becomes visibly agitated whenever a certain subject is mentioned and repeatedly tries to say something that initially sounds nonsensical, I thought it became fairly clear what they were trying to communicate, especially when you considered the names of the people involved. I figured it out long before the detectives did. 

Finally, I've noticed a pattern with this author that is a real shame; they simply don't know when to end a story.

The culprit is caught. The truth comes out. But instead of wrapping things up, we get chapter after chapter of scenes that contribute absolutely nothing to the story. Do I really need to watch Sheridan and Sam shop for their first kettle together? Then, just when you think it's finally over, we're treated to an epilogue that feels less like a novel and more like the closing five minutes of a true crime documentary, neatly ticking through what happened to everyone in the aftermath of the last chapters in an almost bullet-point fashion.

Overall, this wasn't a terrible read, but it also wasn't one I'd enthusiastically recommend. The mystery was predictable, the characters lacked enough detail to truly stand out, and the ending overstayed its welcome by a considerable margin.

Will I continue the series? Maybe. If I find myself with nothing else to read, I could see myself picking up another installment. But for now, I think it's time to take a break.