Review: To Sir Philip, With Love (Bridgertons, #5) by Julia Quinn

                                                          

Print Length: 432 pages

Publisher: Avon (July 1, 2003)

From Goodreads.com: Eloise Bridgerton couldn't marry a man she had never met! But before she knew it, she was in a hired carriage in the middle of the night, on her way to meet the man she hoped might be her perfect match.

Except . . . he wasn't. Her perfect husband wouldn't be so moody and ill-mannered, and while Phillip was certainly handsome, he was rough and rugged, and totally unlike the London gentlemen vying for her hand. But when he smiled . . . and when he kissed her . . . the rest of the world simply fell away. Could this imperfect man be perfect for her?

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My Rating: 1.5 stars out of 5

When I first started this book, I thought I had finally found a Bridgerton book that I was going to enjoy. After all, Eloise has always been such a different (as well as outspoken character) that I enjoyed the thought of her meeting her match through correspondence (even if that wasn't technically allowed during that time period). And while her running off without telling anyone didn't seem entirely in character for her, I went with it. After all, it seemed like it could be fun. 

The first red flag was when she meets Philip and he can't imagine why she is there despite the fact that he was the one who issued the invitation. The  second was when we meet his children, who are little monsters, and he does nothing about it. Sure he yells at them, and imagines ways to punish them, but other than that he is happy to  leave the care and upbringing of his children to someone else - hence why he wants a wife so badly. The third immediate red flag (also with Philip so again I'm starting to think this author is just incapable of writing a male character that isn't a raging arsehole), is that instead of getting to actually know Eloise despite offering for her to come visit him for the express purpose of seeing if they suit for marriage, he still sticks to his same routines. Spending all day in his greenhouse (doing what we're never really told), avoiding his children, but more importantly avoiding contact with Eloise (and this includes conversing with her when they are together).

Of course just when it seems like they might be making some headway, complications show up. First in the form of his monstrous children "playing a prank" on Eloise that results in her falling and ending up with a black eye. And then when all four of her brothers descend upon them, more than a little upset with her actions. Of course they demand that she and Philip marry, and of course despite her going to visit him with the intentions to see if they would suit, she is more than a bit reticent about her feelings on the matter. At least until Philip takes her into her sister-in-laws office and gives her an orgasm. Because of course that means they will suit in all areas. So they get married. 

Fast forward a week. While Eloise seems to be making little progress with the kids (in fact we rarely see them interacting), she is making even less with her new husband. Unless of course it's in the bedroom. *heavy eye roll* You see, despite Eloise asking him questions, she gets very little answers. Most of their time outside of the bedroom seems to be either spent alone (with him hiding in his greenhouse as usual), or sitting silently at the dinner table. And then one day, Eloise decides to go up to the nursery to finally spend time with her new step-children. Only to see them both looking terribly upset. She finds out that their nurse has rapped them on the knuckles, and while that isn't uncommon, something about it doesn't sit right with her so she goes to speak to her husband about it (since you know they are HIS children) and he not only blows her off, but tries to seduce her into bed instead. Top tier parenthood right here. 

A row ensues between the two, in which he tells his wife that she talks too much and should learn how to keep her mouth shut (or as he tells her put it to better use). When she dares tell him that she wants more and she isn't happy with how things are going (aka her trying to bring concerns to him and him blowing her off while trying to sleep with her), he loses his mind and storms out. 

Some stuff happens regarding her brother Benedict and his family, and suddenly Philip and Eloise realize they are in love with one another. Uh... okay? They return home, Philip realizes that Eloise was absolutely right to be worried about the nurse (in fact he fires her immediately), and he vows to be a better father (better late than never I suppose). Later on, Eloise finds him (after he had avoided her all day), and they speak. And he finally tells her the truth about his first wife's death. And how unhappy his ex-wife had always been. And how Eloise better never again say she's not happy in her marriage because it's not as bad as his first one? I beg your finest pardon? So she's never allowed to bring concerns to you? Never allowed to do anything but smile at you? God what an arse.

Once again, what started off as a cute story between two characters that appeared to have the potential for a good romance are ruined due to this author's obvious hatred of men. Eloise's voice was silenced, and I fail to see how any of this is supposed to be romantic. Just once I would like to read a story by this author where the male lead is charismatic AND a decent human being. But I'm starting to think that's asking too much.