Review: The End Zone by L.J. Shen


Print Length: 153 pages
Publisher: L.J. Shen (April 3, 2018)

From Goodreads.com: Jolie Louis is a smart girl. She knows that her best friend, Sage Poirier, is a bad idea. He’s a walking, talking cliché. The Adonis quarterback with the bulging biceps and harem of fangirls trailing behind him on campus like a stench you can’t get rid of. Sadly, that’s also the reason she can’t stay away from him. Well, that and the fact that they’re roommates. Jolie is already straddling the line between friendship and more when Sage comes to her with an offer she cannot refuse: be his fake girlfriend and live for free for the rest of the semester. She tells herself that she can handle it. He’s just the boy she saved ten years ago, right? Wrong. So very wrong. He is a man now, and she is his captive Heart, body, and soul..

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My Rating: 1 star out of 5

I don't even know where to start with this one. On the whole I was expecting to give this a solid 2 stars. The writing was childish, the plotline weaker than a newborn kitten, and the sex scenes mediocre at best. Part of the problem with this one was the fact that it was a novella so there was no sense of build up. Sure we got to see the start of their friendship in the prologue (which was deceptively well written), but then we just get thrown into present day and Sage trying to get Jolie into bed. He doesn't seem to care that she's worried about ruining their friendship, it doesn't seem to bother him that he's had a string of one night stands that he's paraded under her nose. He wants her. A want that becomes nearly an obsession when one of his teammates asked him to find out if Jolie might be interested in dating him. 

Add in a psychotic older co-worker who flips out for no good reason, doesn't give Jolie a chance to even explain anything before getting her fired. A sorority slut with a secret, and our two main characters who instead of TALKING about their problems or concerns decide that sex is going to fix everything. I mean seriously? Jolie has a very normal freak-out moment realizing that eventually Sage is going to become a Professional football player and leave and instead of talking it out and laying her feelings out, she just lets him talk her into bed. Again. 

But what killed even a 2 star reading was the absolute what in the heck just happened here extended epilogue. I have no idea what on Earth possessed the author to write it, much less include it when it wasn't needed AT ALL. First off, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong when a child (age somewhere between 2-4) tells her mother she wants a cock and said mother immediately jumps to the conclusion that her daughter wants anything other than the chicken she was asking for. I should have just stopped there. 

But no. I continued to read. 

Jolie finds a bright red lipstick under her husband's chair in the kitchen and immediately thinks he's been cheating. Even though he's off in Colorado at training camp with the professional football team he's been signed to. She calls her mom, tells her, then takes her daughter to preschool. She then proceeds to ignore numerous phone calls from her husband and her mother to the point her husband walks out of training camp to fly home and "deal with this". 

Of course, once again, instead of being adults and having a rational conversation about whose lipstick she found (or how about the fact that the tube was unopened and still sealed) they have sex. Or rather he puts it on her then forces her onto her knees to give him a blowjob. Apparently deciding that wasn't degrading enough, he then flips her around and proceeds to have anal sex with her. Of course it can't be spousal rape. And of course its not humiliating in the least because the wife is just SO into it. *cue heavy eyerolling here*

But ladies and gentlemen - that's not even the best (worst) part! He then takes her electronic toothbrush, turns it on and ..... you guessed it.... proceeds to use that in her front hole. Did anyone find that sexy? I mean who the heck wants to brush their teeth after that? 

All of this just to find out that the lipstick? Came from the real estate agent he hired to buy the house next door for her parents. Because apparently now that they are retired they have no greater goal in life than to move from Louisiana to California to babysit their grandkids. 

*sighs* Definitely should have passed on this one. 

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                                                              The End Zone is available from Amazon.com

                                                             (for free if you subscribe to Kindle Unlimited)
 

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